I DO NOT LIKE CANCER HERE OR THERE!

These past few months have been hard for me. Not only have I had physical struggles with Lupus, but also emotional struggles dealing with my mother's cancer.

I'm scared.

I'll admit it. I'm scared something with happen to my Mom.

I lost my "Mammaw" four years ago. She helped raised me. I thought I lost part of myself that day.

This post is mostly an "update" since I've been oddly absent from YouTube lately. (More on that below)

Mom will be having surgery on WEDNESDAY!!!!!

If all goes well they may be able to save her voice box, remove the necrotic tissue, and give her a tracheotomy.

She's not happy. She's super depressed.

She went from making 30.00 an hour to 322.00 a month on disability. It's been a struggle for her mentally and physically. She weights 97 pounds. It breaks my heart.

People keep asking what they can do to help.

All I am ASKING FOR are PRAYERS! They are TOTALLY FREE!

I reallllllly thought about making a "Go Fund Me" to help my mom. She worries constantly about medical bills. She should NOT have to worry about that on top of cancer. But, I didn't. I likely won't.

We are under severe financial strain ourselves. A few nights we had ramen. But, I consider us lucky. We do have lights and a home. Some people don't have that.

Now, I won't lie and say that this unexpected financial strain has not caused major emotional issues.

That is one reason I am not on YouTube. I CANNOT shop to show Dollar Tree hauls.

I'm afraid that if I start talking about the situation I WILL CRY.

But, here are some things you CAN do.

If you WANT soap and bath or body things check out "Geeky Queen Soaps" on Etsy. I'll be adding more in the coming weeks.

Geeky Queen Soaps

Also, if you shop on Amazon, using my link would help me.

http://amzn.to/2bpSgCN


So, prayers are the best way to help. Thank you all. I love you! Cupcakes!

Schedules?! I ain't got time for that!

I've been waking up with panic attacks in the middle night and every morning. I can say that a lot of this has to do with the fact that I've been ill, stressed to the max, and hurting. Still, I have to figure out some sort of schedule that works for me. Schedule is a bad word in my vocabulary. 

Many people are very bad at schedule that is just a fact. However, if you ever have dealt with someone or have a chronic illness you know it's even worse. You may plan to feel good on a certain day and do certain things but your body may do differently. That seems to be par for the course for me for the last few weeks months years etc.

Live. Laugh. Love. 

I like that idea. 

I really want to make more consistent videos and stick to a schedule. However, I am working full-time from home, took on a second job to add to my tooth fund, and have been sick the past week.

This leaves very little time to do things like videos unless you want to see me looking like crap and sounding like Kermit the frog on crack.

I seem to be grabbing a few minutes here and there between work, sleep, etc. to watch videos and try to comment so that I'm still in the loop. I took a small hiatus from social media the past couple days and just peeked in because I felt so bad.

I have a very long list of "I need to do":

* I need to get a haircut

* I need to get my monster brows whittled down into two eyebrows instead of one

* I need to get the energy to recolor my hair

* I need to make more videos

And the list goes on.

Obviously, the above four are not necessities. I really need to eat, sleep, etc. but, those are things I want to get accomplished.

I have finally bought my own domain so that I can have my own little corner of the web for a couple dollars. Eventually, I need to build a website but that's likely going to take a bit of time. 

So, my fellow geeks, nerds, dorks, dweebs, snowflakes, etc. ( still thinking on the perfect name for that ) 

I plan to try my best to schedule things. There will be many hiccups. I can't schedule sickness in advance, sadly. I can't schedule bone aching fatigue in advance. I can't schedule work interruptions in advance. But, I can at least outline but I'd like to get done.

I'm going to try to start filming again so let me know what you would like to see out of the following videos that I really should get done:

Dollar tree stuff

Ipsy/other unboxings

Soap making or crafts

Declutter series

Vlogs 

Leave me a comment! I love comments. I will definitely take it into consideration.

Thank you all again for being part of my "chosen" family. I love you all dearly and just know that you make me smile each day.

Xoxoxo 

The Curvy Nerd 

Lupus, Chronic Illness, and "The Spoon Theory"

A few days ago I published a YouTube video about Lupus, Chronic Illness, and "The Spoon Theory". The Spoon Theory was written by Christine Miserandino after a friend asked her "what it felt like to have lupus." I think that the spoon theory gives a great indicator to those not dealing with these illnesses on how we have to deal with life day by day, chore by chore, etc.


I started off the video explaining that I have Lupus, Fibromyalgia, CFS, and other autoimmune disorders. A quick synopsis of the spoon theory is this:


You have a certain number of spoons each day. The spoons represent energy. Each day you MUST decide how much energy you are willing to expend on each task (spoons). Getting out of bed each day is a spoon. Dressing is a spoon because you must decide specifically what to wear based on how you are feeling (or looking) that day. Making breakfast is a spoon, etc. By the end of a normal work day (5pm) you have one spoon. Will you make dinner? Will you choose to run errands? Did you get invited out by friends? Well, you can only choose one or "borrow spoons" from another day. Those spoons never get returned so you are going into the negative which means your energy for the next day, week, month etc. has been compromised. You can never catch up (like on sleep) and can lead to a crash in health. This is the EASIEST way to explain a chronic illness and how each "little" decision can impact your life. Please take a moment to watch this video and let me know what you think!

Just click below to see my video!

The Spoon Theory -- YouTube Video

This was written by Christine Miserando and you can find more information about the spoon theory at: www.butyoudontlooksick.com

I hope this helps and you have a day full of spoons and joy!

XOXO Curvy Nerd