Most people not and the TTC area probably would have no idea what I'm mad about "two lines".
Also, I doubt they would understand what a BFP or why a positive OPK would mean I need to go BD.
I think when you're trying to conceive you learn a new secret language. You forge a bond with women all over the world in your situation.
My acronym is MF #1 with PCOS.
In layman's terms that means married female trying to conceive baby number one with polycystic ovarian syndrome.
I think only a handful of people now that I did get my BFP and two lines for Christmas.
Sadly, this ended very quickly and want doctors call a chemical pregnancy. I think people here chemical pregnancy and think that means the test was malfunctioning. That is not correct. A chemical pregnancy simply means that you were pregnant but for some reason it ended very early. It is estimated that 40% of people have chemical pregnancies and never realize that as most women get a normal or just slightly delayed. I never realize they had early miscarriage. That is truly what a chemical pregnancy is no matter what nice terms are used.
I had not planned to announce this till Christmas. I only told a select few friends and my family. My mother is going through chemotherapy and radiation for cancer and was in the hospital. I did not tell her until she left the hospital that the pregnancy had ended so quickly.
I think all of us are probably in the same boat. When I say that; I mean all the women that are in the "trying to conceive" stage. A lot of us probably feel like failures. What come so easily and natural to some takes years and years of trying and tons of of one lined pregnancy tests.
Dealing with the aftermath of a chemical pregnancy is tricky. It's very hard to mourn and yet you know there is a loss. Most women, if you're like me, had already been thinking of names looking at clothes etc. we might have been imagining that moment when we announce it to our entire family.
The point of this post was actually about the bond that is foraged with women trying to conceive. The crazy acronyms that become part of our daily lives.
I've been told "it wasn't really a baby" but it was. I guess I got my two lines for Christmas. Now I have an angel somewhere.
Just remember if you are still actively TTC to make sure to take your OPK's, remember to BD frequently, and POAS.
I pray that you all get two lines for Christmas.
While I read this it takes me back to my journey. I knew I always wanted to be a Mom. In my case, I miscarried twice, first time with twins. Then was dx'd with sjrogrens, lupus sle and rheumatoid arthritis. Giving birth was no longer an option at 32 yo. Skip forward 8 years, we adopted a baby girl only 2 days old. What a Journey it was, so she is named Journey.
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you got your 2 lines. I'm sorry that it ended so quickly. It all happens for a reason. Grieve and give yourself time. I know it can consume your every waking moment. Adoption was our answer. I just didn't realize the process would take so long. Your time will come.
Thank goodness the worst of the teeth issue is now handled and you can move forward with so sort of normalcy with that.
I'll keep you and your Mom in my prayers. If you ever need an ear to bend, I'm here.
Take care and hang in there!